Harold picked an apple up off the ground.

It looked clean, red, unscathed, round.

He took a bite and exclaimed at the taste

“What a splendid little fruit, and it almost went to waste!”

Harold shared his find with his friends back in town.

They all loved the apple, shared and passed it around.

Then apple spoke up, “Hey stop eating my face!”

It hopped up on its feet and gave the group a chase.

They ran from the fruit, their pants running brown.

“Why the FUCK is this apple talking?” someone yelled out aloud.

The apple just smirked and strolled smugly away.

He thought he’d have some more fun in this day.

The apple found more of his kind, up in their trees.

He grabbed them by the stem and kicked out their knees.

The ones that were too high to reach, fell down when he shook

And brought them down off the tree and gave them a stern look.

“You’re stealing my style,” the apple said to his peers.

“You’re all fucking plebeians, jews, rats and queers.”

He ran into town and hired a lawyer.

Passed off his chores like a modern Tom Sawyer

His attorney asked him, and gave such inquiry,

As to what this apple could want, he wanted empiry.

He demanded all the others be labeled thieves and crooks.

For hatefully stealing his charming good looks.

Yes the apple sued all the others, for looking alike,

Stop buying Apple Macintosh.